Kai Under the Hand

A few days ago, DW got a new toy. The new toy is a black leather crop on which the striking portion is shaped like a hand. The first time I saw it, it was inside a long triangular priority mail shipping box which I glanced at briefly while on my way out the door. I asked DW what it was, and he said something along the lines of he wasn't sure... that he was waiting for a package, he just didn't know what the package was going to look like. We were away for a couple of days after that, and by the time we got back I had completely forgotten about the box. The night we got back I went directly to the bedroom and crashed on the bed, completely exhausted. It was after 1am and I was unequivocally ready to commence being dead to the world. When DW followed a short time later, he struck me a few times with what I thought was the paddle he keeps in his toybox. We'd played with the paddle before, and it felt kind of familiar, but I didn't turn around to look. Instead, I'm pretty sure I made a noise that sounded something like, "mraaaaaaaaaaaaakgh," and went back to the business of passing out.

Yeah... I was really tired.

The next day I texted him at work to ask what he'd used. He simply responded that I would find out. Then I turned around and noticed the crop lying next to the bed, tag still attached. I made the bed and put the crop up against the pillows.

I want to say here that--as I believe I've mentioned before--I sometimes contend with the idea of how to ask DW if we can play. I learned a little while ago that I can't flat-out request it; when I make requests, it's just more likely to make him decide to put it off. So more often than not I just have to be patient and willing to wait.

Which... can be difficult. Especially when there are things I want to play with that we haven't tried out yet.

So I decided to see what would happen if I just left the new toy out on the bed where he would notice it. And notice it he did... right before he picked it up and put it down on the floor so he could fold the blanket down. I was disappointed. I projected disappointed.

Me: "You didn't like the place where I put it?"

DW: "You just put it there so I'd notice it!"

Me: "......yeah..........."

DW: "You just wanted to get me to use it on you, huh."

Me: "Well... I'm not allowed to ask, so I thought maybe if I just kind of put it there.... you know.... we could play with it....."

Retrospectively, I'm kind of surprised that this worked; it wouldn't necessarily have been the first time for DW to laugh and kiss me and refuse to give me what I wanted. Instead, he playfully tapped me with the crop while verbally teasing me about my actions, then gradually increased the force behind the blows. He started with my breasts--which lent itself to a bit of joking around since the tip of the crop was, well, a hand--before putting me down on the bed and moving on to my legs and butt. It had been quite some time since I'd had a crop used on me--we're talking on the order of years--and I was surprised at how sharp the pain was. It's a very bite-y toy, whereas I had become used to the duller pain of floggers and bare hands (and, to some extent, paddles). This had me occasionally flinching and rolling to get away, but I never went far and didn't honestly want him to stop. He recognizes this in me, and he tends to be more amused by my struggles and half-assed escape tactics than anything else.

DW has already recognized a couple of problem spots in the design of the crop (the pole extends a bit further into the hand/tip than he'd like, and the wire wrapped around it could potentially come undone and cause damage if not taken care of), and I'm going to need a few sessions to get used to the sting. I know that he could have put a lot more force and speed into it than he did, but even with the way he was using it I found the brand of pain slightly difficult to handle. So... I want more chances to play with it, integrate it with other toys, see how well we can ultimately get along.

In the meantime, I'll have to work on figuring out the right way to request play. Leaving the toy out worked this one time, but I have my doubts that it will always work out that way.