Kai's Wishlist: St. Andrew's Cross

When I was a sophomore in college, I shared a dorm with three other people. We had our own common area with a table and chairs and kitchen appliances, and up against the wall we had a St. Andrew's cross. The St. Andrew's cross did not belong to us so much as it belonged to the resident kink club, of which three of us were members (and the fourth's lack of club membership didn't at all mean he wasn't into the kink scene). I don't remember the exact circumstances involved, but the general long and short of it was that it somehow got decided that instead of leaving the cross in storage it would come and live with us. The biggest reason for this, if I recall correctly, was simply that out of all the current active members of the club, we would almost definitely get the most use out of it.

And so, it came to pass that we were in possession of the club's St. Andrew's cross for the duration of that school year.

Our St. Andrew's cross was a very simple structure; in fact, nothing more than the X-frame, painted black, and a couple of built-in chains. It did not have a base, and so in a way it was more symbolic than functional. I had used it once or twice as a freshman at play parties, and even when anchored to it I couldn't put any of my weight on the chains out of concern for the possibility that it would fall over. In this way, the cross was better as a measure of discipline than an instrument of bondage: place your hands here and do not move them until I tell you that you may do so. So perhaps it was more psychological than physical in nature, but it had a special place in our hearts and we were more than happy to let it stay in our dorm.

As it turned out, we didn't use it often at all. It spent most of the year festooned with Christmas lights, and when our parents came to visit we told them that it was a coat rack (someone put a jacket on it beforehand to lend credence to the claim). We may have put it to use once or twice during personal play parties, but for the most part it was decorative and symbolic and nothing more.

Now it is years later and DW and I have toyed with the idea of getting a cross for ourselves. We haven't discussed it in any degree of seriousness or immediacy, but the desire to one day have one is certainly there. I know that one day I would like to have a cross that I can be anchored to and put my weight on, that I can push on and struggle against and know it is solid. Even with our "symbolic" cross in college, I liked it as a base from which to be flogged. It lent a certain variety of focus that being flogged while lying on a bed or standing in the middle of the floor lacks. One does not need a cross for this; the same effect can be achieved by telling me to keep my hands on the back of a chair, the edge of a table, the support beam that stretches from the floor to the ceiling. It outlines a place for me to put my hands and, by extension, channel a part of my attention that would not otherwise be used. It adds a parameter. It adds an element of D/s--and also discipline--to something that otherwise would be primarily on the S/M side of the scale. In the case of a solid, properly built St. Andrew's cross, the bondage element can come into play as well*, thus allowing for the full range of what is encompassed in BDSM... at least as far as the acronym is concerned.

The St. Andrew's cross, though not strictly a must-have, is a fantastic accessory to play... and I imagine it could be integrated quite easily into non-scenes as well. DW and I have yet to do a third full-blown scene, but play elements surface between us almost every day. I am almost certain that if there were a cross around, we would find a way to integrate it into play and sex, regardless of whether or not there was a scene involved.

*The bondage element may also be played in the event that one is tied or otherwise bound to any of the aforementioned furniture, etc. However, in the case of tables and chairs, a cross might be a better anchor point and support for your weight depending on the extent of the bondage, how much you struggle, and how much you weigh.